Bzzt…

Bzt.

C’est moi, le Chapeau Gros!

C’est…

Bzzzzzt…

It’s me, Trojy. At least, I think it’s me! At least, I’m the me that doesn’t know who me is. At least, I think I don’t… No, wait—

Bzzzzt…

Ah, L’idiot Borsht Trojan! You must stop resisting le signal mind control du l’evil! No, c’est pas –

Bzzt. Bzzt.

It’s coming in from my head. My head my head my head. I have to block the signal. Block the signal, block the signal…

I’ve been trying ways of blocking the signal and stopping the blackouts. I turned the TV around so it couldn’t see me. I stopped shampooing my helmet hair. I stayed submerged for over an hour, breathing through a complicated series of straws. I only ate strawberries for a day. Okay, that was just cool it had nothing to do with the mind control.

But each time the buzzing in my… Bzzt …the buzzing in my head… Bzzt Bzt …in my head would get worse and I would black out, only to find something terrible has happened. Like… ALL THE STRAWBERRIES WERE GONE!!!1

Bzzt Bzzzzt

Je t’aime le Berries du Straw! Et, now I must continue le plan evil du master—

Bzzt! BZZZZZZT!

No! Keep it together, Trojy! There’s only one thing left to try! One thing to keep these voices out of my head. And it rhymes with Bin Boil Bat!

Tee Hee.

Here goes…

AAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!1