Yes, in a climactic battle yesterday, The Plumber and I parted ways forever.  Though we’ve shared sorrows and adventure, we were torn apart by our affection for a young lady.  Fantabulous Gal, the blonde wig that launched a thousand… er… launched the end of my friendship with the Plumber. Typical!

But who was I kidding?

EPIC BATTLE!!!

Being sad, angry, and alone is the very essence of being a super villain.  Where would I be if I were happy and well-adjusted, hmm?  I’d be nobody!  I’d be living in a house, wearing a golf shirt, why I’d probably be cutting my lawn this very minute!  With a stupid smiley-face on for no good reason!  That’s what happens to people who have friends.

Let this be a warning to all other evildoers out there.  Hold onto your irrational anger!  Let rage and jealousy be your only allies!  You’ll only compromise your dreams of chaos and mass destruction if you let yourself be corrupted by friendship!

So goodbye, Plumber, and good riddance.

*sniff* Teary-eyed face.

I’ll always remember you!