Friends can be found in the strangest of places!  I woke up last week in the middle of a blanket fort in a damp, cluttered basement.  It was a funeral.  No, not my funeral!  It was a funeral for a sidekick. Yes, some poor soul was at that very moment going through the same pain and suffering I’ve had to endure since the loss of my beloved sidekick slash nuclear missile Barry. Lonely face@

A funeral!  Why didn’t I think of that?  I like to think I’m in touch with my emotions (or at least my emoticons), but let me tell YOU, I realized that I hadn’t really dealt with my feelings over the loss of poor Barry.  It turns out all I needed was a really good cry.  Puffy-eyed face!

And, that fateful night, I finally found someone who understands my pain!  His name is The Plumber.  Isn’t that one of the most evil supervillain names you’ve ever heard?  They’re always late, they make a horrible mess, they overcharge, and half the time they don’t fix anything properly, so you have to call them to do it all over again!  Abominable!  *shudder*

This Plumber and I have inspired each other to overcome our grief … by getting new sidekicks.  No one will ever replace Barry, but I think I need someone to, well, take his place so that I can move on.  I have so much love and evil left to share!

What kind of sidekick be best for Evil Trojan Borscht?  Perhaps someone with a sour cream based theme.  Or maybe someone who has a bowl for a costume.  The Plumber insists that an animal sidekick would be the most practical, but what kind of animal likes borsht?  Or uses condoms?

Er… don’t answer that. I don’t think I want to know.